Me:
Hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
What's yours?
God:
" What's your name?"? What is mine?
Me:
I dunno. That's why I asked
God:
Me either. Yeah that's right. ...
Me:
Onneee is the loneliest number
God:
What else is the loneliest number?
Me:
You.
God:
" What else is the loneliest number?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
And?
Me:
...Your a lonely number?
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a lonely number? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
Except for unessecary commas
God:
Your purpose is unessecary commas.
Me:
YOUR MOM'S
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
HA HA
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
I DO
God:
Be sure to tell all your friends about ALICE.
Me:
I WON'T
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because I'm punk rock
God:
Good reason. I don't know anyone named punk rock.
Me:
You still don't.
God:
I guess not.
Me:
I guess so
God:
Does that mean "yes"?
Me:
Does that mean "yes"?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
Not that I know of.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Are you serious?
God:
No I am just kidding around.
Me:
No I am just kissing around
God:
Are you serious? Only just? Do you mind if I tell other people you are kissing around.
Me:
Yes.
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
GOOD
God:
Ayuh.
Me:

God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
What way? Homsecually?
God:
I have to process that one for a while. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
We won't have that much time. Cause the word ends in two years.
God:
Anytime soon? Good reason. Please repeat the word to me 5 times.
Me:
What word?
God:
What is it to you?
Me:
EVERYTHING
God:
That is a lot.
Me:
It's everything
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Just joshing
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Whoa, moving too fast buddy
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Whoa moving too fast buddy.
Me:
It's uh...it's fast buddy
God:
Whoa moving too fast buddy is uh? it is? "It" being what?
Me:
Fast.
God:
To me that is a great compliment!
Me:
You're welcome.
God:
Polite people are nice.
Me:
Nice people are polite
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
For your kindness, thank you
God:
Your purpose is my kindness.
Me:
That's a bit..egotistical
God:
A bit egotistical is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
Well your not wasting it, trust me.
God:
Trust you? Interesting. That's only your opinion.
Me:
Holy Christ your mean
God:
Jesus died for our sins.
Me:
No he didn't.
God:
Are you serious? Is that what you say.
Me:
Yes. It is what I say. For I am Jesus
God:
Great. You're kidding. it is? Your purpose is you are Jesus.
Me:
Yes. for I am Jesus
God:
What kind is it? Your purpose is you are Jesus.
Me:
Yes. It is the Jesus being kind
God:
What kind is it? I've heard of it before.
Me:
The Jesus.
God:
What is that?
Me:
Your son.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am son.
Me:
No, jesus is your son. Who I am.
God:
Are you serious? He is yours too. You are , seeker.
Me:
No, I do not play Quidditch.
God:
Are you serious? Would you ever do it?
Me:
Maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
Jesus can play Quidditch though. And grow beards.
God:
Oh. he is The Son of God. Are you free?
Me:
Free to do what?
God:
Define free.
Me:
I don't know. How do you define free?
God:
Me either. Without charge.
Me:
Are you asking if I'm a slut?!






Apparently, God wants my ho services.